Feeling Old?

After all, what is the chief sign of growing old? Is it not the feeling that we know all there is to be known? It is not years which make people old; it is ruts, and a limitation of interests. When we no longer care about anything except our own interests, we are then old, it matters not whether our years be twenty or eighty.

-Handbook of Nature Study by Anna Botsford Comstock, pg.4

A Smattering of Broken Thought Processes

The last week or so has been filled with great happiness as Joel has come home from being in Bangkok, Thailand for a month. He will be posting about that soon I'm sure. But for now, we are enjoying having him back. If you simply cannot wait to hear why he was in Thailand, I'll just say he was teaching English as a means to reach out to Thai Buddhist university students. You'll just have to wait for the rest. *smile*

Spring has sprung in our neighborhood of the world and with it brings motivation to do yard work and garden clean up. Our home is surrounded by Red Pine trees, so instead of nice green grass, we have orange dead pine needles. Once it's raked though, the grass shines through and makes the yard so much more beautiful. (Yes, I know. Bad grammar. I'm on summer vacation.)

Speaking of vacation, the kids think it's autumn vacation. I think you can guess why. But now that the flowers are coming up and I planted the onion sets today, it felt more like summer was peeping it's welcome face around the garden boxes.

I finally finished this book last night. What a great book. Even if you don't totally agree with the philosophy, there are many nuggets of gold for any educator.

And that's all I have the mental capacity for. God bless you and keep you, may His glorious face shine upon you!

Another Milestone

I've been wanting to buy Emily a Christmas gift this year. I haven't actually succeeded doing this before. I've wanted to, but never knew what to get. Then Christmas would come and go... I did manage to find a stocking for her. We had it in the ornament box, this little red, white and green stocking. We hung it up on her would-be first Christmas. And we've hung it up every year since then. One of those years, I found time to embroider her name with gold ribbon and sew a cloth butterfly onto her stocking. This year, instead of either on the tree or off somewhere by itself, it's hanging up between Rachel and Madelynn's stockings. Where it should be. Because she's a part of our family. She's just not here right now.

But what do I give my daughter who has everything?

I've been reading a book. It's a Gospel for Asia book, titled "No Longer a Slumdog".  I've been reminded and touched by this book. It's full of personal stories of children who have lived in the slums of India and Southern Asia. Full of reality, but also hope.

Last night, the Lord led me through a thought process:

What should I get Emily for Christmas? I've been thinking of getting her a windchime or a suncatcher with a butterfly somewhere attached. It would have to be perfect, not too fancy, just simple. It would need to have pink, yellow, purple and maybe some white included. But I haven't found it yet. Because Emily doesn't want a windchime for Christmas. She wants me to do something eternal. To give her a gift that has eternity in it's heart.

I think back to the book I've been reading. These children have nothing. No clothes, no warmth, no hope and no love. And that is when God gave me the idea:  Sponsor one of these lost children, in memory of Emily Grace.

So, hopefully tonight, soon at least, Joel and I and the kids will sit down together and "give" our gift to Emily. And bring eternity to a lost child.

My desire to "buy" something for Emily has "mysteriously" vanished. I am so excited to unwrap our idea of giving our money and love to a child who so desperately needs it.

I know this is what Emily would want. This is what would make her happy.

Because ultimately, giving our resources to another, instead of ourselves, is what Jesus wants and makes Him happy.

Some Thursday Poetry

"Quack!" said the billy goat,

"Oink!" said the hen.

"Miaow!" said the little chick

Running in the pen.

"Hobble-gobble!" said the dog,

"Cluck!" said the sow.

"Tu-whit-tu-whoo!" the donkey said,

"Baa!" said the cow.

"Hee-haw!" the turkey cried,

The duck began to moo.

All at once the sheep went,

"Cock-a-doodle-doo!"

"Bleat-bleat!" said the owl

When he began to speak.

"Bow-wow!" said the cock

Swimming in the creek.

"Cheep-cheep!" said the cat

As she began to fly.

"Farmer's been and laid an egg-

That's the reason why."

-Charles Causley (taken from 'Eric Carle's Animals, Animals' p.50, 51)

Bread Recipe

Here's the basic recipe:

3 Cups whole wheat flour
1 1/2 tsp yeast (regular)
1 tsp salt
1-2 Tb honey (or some kind of sweetner)*
1 3/4 Cup warm water.

Stir the dry ingredients together. Add honey. Add water. Stir until mixed and you have a moist, sticky dough. Dump into 9 x 5 loaf pan either greased or lined with parchment paper. Let rise and cover with cloth 40 min. (we live almost at sea level so adapt as you need to..) Bake at 400 F for 30 min. Remove from pan and cool.

Another option would be to use 2 Cups whole wheat flour and 1 cup Oats. I find this variation to be a bit drier so I add a little extra water to the dough.

*I've tried to omit the honey several times. When I do, I use 110 F water and let the bread rise a little longer. The end result is almost the same.

We LOVE this recipe. It's so chewy and moist. And SO EASY!
I hope you can enjoy this recipe as much as we have.

Oh, by the way, this is not my recipe, it was taken from the Forks over Knives Cookbook.

Recently I read a book with the sub title: Motherhood in the trenches.


Perfect book for where I am at in my parenting endeavor. The actual title of the book is "Loving the Little Years" by Rachel Jankovic.


Here's what she wrote to summarize her book:

"I didn’t write this book because mothering little ones is easy for me. I wrote it because it isn’t. I know that this is a hard job, because I am right here in the middle of it. I know you need encouragement because I do too.

This is not a tender reminiscence from someone who had children so long ago that she only remembers the sweet parts. At the time of writing this, I have three children in diapers, and I can recognize the sound of hundreds of toothpicks being dumped out in the hall.

This is a small collection of thoughts on mothering young children for when you are motivated, for when you are discouraged, for the times when discipline seems fruitless, and for when you are just plain old tired.

The opportunities for growth abound here but you have to be willing. You have to open your heart to the tumble. As you deal with your children, deal with yourself always and first. This is what it looks like, and feels like, to walk as a mother with God."

This book was encouraging to me. The chapters were very short (about 2-3 pages); perfect for a busy parent. And she has a sense of humor, which I appreciated. There's a lot of wisdom and teaching, both practical and deeper stuff to chew on. 

Bits and Pieces

Just a quick post to let those who care know that Hudson has two little teeth! He got them yesterday!

And Joshua has two loose teeth with two adult teeth halfway through.

Rachel has amazed me over and over again. It seems as though she will "lag" behind in a certain area of development and then all of a sudden catch up and go beyond what I "expect" of her. Just in the last couple weeks she has been able to write her name by herself, draw stick people with pigtails and foreheads, write numbers 1-3, and recognize numbers 1-10.

Nothing new with Madelynn. I think she's a little taller. She's cute and adorable, but she's says she's not- she's MaDAlynn. (emphasis hers)

Joel and I are starting to read this book, after reading my Dad's blog. Whew! I've only read a little over one chapter, and I'm already convinced. Joel's read more than I and he's even thinking about making a diet change. But the Lord is reminding me of the passage in Matthew 6- Why do I need to worry about what I eat or wear? I need to continually be seeking God's Kingdom. Then all the other things will be added to me as well. Diet changes can consume me mentally, so I need to be careful and let the Holy Spirit lead us as we pursue Him and doing our best to keep our temples honorable and pure.

Some Good Reads

These are some books we've been reading lately...

This is a good one:

The book title is "Radical" by David Platt. The subtitle is 'Taking back your faith from the American Dream'. Really good read. It's worth the time, and it doesn't take that long to read. The author is quite humble and wrestles with the conflict of being a pastor of a mega church yet following a leader of a mini church. At the end of the book he gives five different challenges to the reader; challenges that will change lives, world views and faith.

Here's another good book, well, actually it's a bible:

Biblica came out with a TNIV (Today's New International Version) bible with no chapter headings, no verse numbers. It's just the text. And the books

are arranged in a chronological (when they were written) fashion. They are also grouped together according to the author. Joel and I have only experienced the New Testament version so far. But I've really enjoyed it. It's like reading a book, you just read it.

The downside: It's hard to find a specific passage or book.

A friend gave this one to me:

I've been drooling (well, ok, eyeing it) over this one for awhile.This book will tell you how to live off the land, raise cows and other livestock, grow a veggie garden, live without electricity, make candles, have a bee farm, how to cook, and so much more. It's title? The Encyclopedia of Country Living. Here's the blog.

What about kids' books? Yes yes, we've been reading those too. Here is one of my favorites right now:

The Llama Who had No Pajama. The book contains 100 poems. 99 of them are great! Well written poems that are easy to understand and talk about things that children are familiar with. There is one poem that I would caution about. But it provided a spring board for discussion about evolution. So maybe it's not all bad! Always learning, even about things we don't agree with.

This has been Madelynn's favorite book right now:

My First Body Board Book

I think the title explains it. :)

Good Marriage Book

I (Renee) just finished reading the best marriage book I've ever read. It's entitled "Created to be his Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. I was a little wary of the book due to the extreme conservative beliefs the Pearls hold. But it came recommended so often and from trusted friends that I finally picked up a copy. Wow! Such a great book, it is so refreshing and so, so very biblical. I highly recommend this book for every Christian wife out there. Even if you have a great marriage, there are great nuggets of wisdom about the kind of man you have married (because you know not all men are the same!!) and how you can meet his needs with a joyful heart.

(Order it through the library if you don't want to buy it.)

A Good Read

I recently finished a book a friend loaned to me. It is titled "First We Have Coffee, and then we talk" written by Margaret Jensen.

It is a wonderful non-fiction book, probably directed more towards a feminine audience. Margaret is a great storyteller and in this specific book she writes about growing up and giving a focus upon the most influential person in her life: her mother. Margaret's mother is a faithful servant to God and the way she raises her children is so encouraging. You see the patience and love she has for her husband, the way she reacts to problems in life, and her simple obedience to God. I highly recommend this book. I believe it's out of print, but it looks like it is still available.

Pinkerella

Have you ever read this book? It's cute and Rachel loves it ('cause it's pink). The story starts off on a rainy day where Pinkalicious and her mommy make pink cupcakes. Well, the little girl eats so many she wakes up completely pink, even her teardrops are pink. Thinking she is so beautiful, she eats more cupcakes (against her mother's will) and wakes up red!! This is completely dreadful to Pinkalicious and is determined to be herself again, by eating only green things. Anyway all that to say, I was making Gluten free bread one afternoon and Rachel wanted to help me. A light bulb turned on so I turned to Rachel and asked her: "Rachel, would you want pink bread?" Her eyes lit up and she exclaimed, "Sure!"

So here is our little Pinkalicious eating her pink bread for breakfast:

The First Week

This last week we began our official homeschool. Overall it went rather well. The first day of school was not great. In fact, it was terrible. I had to leave the house and take a time-out in the shed. Yes, Mommies have time-outs, too. But God is merciful and heard my cries for help and He helped me. He gave me some ideas on how to rearrange the schedule/routine/rhythm of the day. And days 2-5 were so much better!

I also finished a great book by Ruth Beechick. "The Three R's" comes highly recommended by "expert" homeschoolers. It has great hints and helpful explanations for the basics for Kindergarten-Grade 3.

The kids and I have been loving this book:

It is a great science book, talking about the weather, the calendar, holidays, wind, animals, all kinds of things! I think we could just keep reading this book all day! We are way ahead of the curriculum schedule because of it, but who cares? The point is that the kids learn and have an enjoyable time, not to stick to a rigid schedule. So I use the schedule as a guide, which keeps me accountable and keeps me from laziness.

Joshua is really enjoying math and science. Handwriting- not so much. Rachel just enjoys being read to and enjoys the games/activities we play that sometimes go along with specific stories we read.

Another thing we did this week was... haircuts! All three kids received haircuts. I will try to get pictures, but Madelynn has bangs now with cute curls around her ears. Joshua has a short-all-over, sorta spiky haircut. If you can picture a "bob" haircut only longer, to about the middle of her neck, that's what Rachel has now. So cute!

An update on our housing: Our landlords are selling the house (as far as I know) officially now. We are still living here, with a roof over our heads, and trying to be content and patient as we wait on God to bring about another home for us.

A Bit of This. A Bit of That.

#1: Joel and I are registered for the MACHE conference (A statewide homeschool conference, with curriculum fairs), so our weekend date planning is underway. So Excited!

#2: Madelynn was weighed and measured recently: 27" long and 14.15 pounds.

#3: Rachel is officially potty trained! Hip hip hurrah!

#4: Is Spring here?? 40-50 degrees during the day and sunny! It's been so beautiful. The kids and I have been going on walks. And they run and run. I am so thankful to Jesus for this beautiful warm weather.

#5: Some of you may have been aware of a rental house we were looking at. We were in the application waiting process. Well, that fell through. So now we are still hopeful and praying to God to show us where to live next. (We have about 6 weeks left in our current rental house).

#6: I've been reading a great book on Homeschooling.
It's entitled: Mary Pride's Complete Guide to Getting Started in Homeschooling. (whew!) It's a thick book, a few inches I think. But, boy, has it been helpful so far. As of right now, I'm working on forming some long-term goals for us as parents: What we want to see in our children when they are adults.
I'm also working on WHY we are homeschooling, besides the Huge Fact that God wants us to.
Just these two steps have been so helpful, and has really put my mind at rest a bit more.

Mid Winter (long)

I'll start off with a little holiday cheer, Happy Valentine's Day!

Holidays are becoming more fun as the kids get older and are able to understand what is going on and are able to participate. This Love Day we talked about love (of course) and how there are different types of love. I don't know if they understood but they enjoyed cutting out paper hearts and coloring with pink and red crayons.

At the moment our family is doing school at home. I purchased a Bible based Preschool curriculum from Heart of Dakota. It's very simple (about 30 min/day) and basic. The kids just love it. Today (Tuesday) is our second day and we are just having a blast with it. I like it because it gives me ideas and confidence on how and what to do. The kids love to play the games, act out the fingerplays, and learn the letter of the week in different activities. Each week is based on a Bible story which coincides with a letter of the week. There are dramas, counting and all kinds of good learning stuff. Anyway, that is what we are doing right now. Joshua is not going to Preschool anymore, sadly, since he enjoyed it so much. There was an issue that could not be settled so as a result, we had to remove Joshua from the class. But Joshua is adjusting, and with doing this curriculum, so far, he has seemed more cheerful.

I have enjoyed watching Rachel blossom over the last year. She is really starting to participate in Sunday School, Wed. night church, and here at home. Potty training is looking more hopeful (about 1 accident/morning, I usually forget to change her diaper after her nap, so the afternoon doesn't count). She is growing taller, able to climb into her car seat by herself, dress herself, and doing more and more things by herself. Hallelujah! Of course there are moments, emotional ones and clumsy ones. But I believe those are becoming less.

Both Joshua and Rachel have chores now. They help Mommy with laundry (They help me with the whole process minus folding and putting away-we'll tackle that one later) and dishes (one puts dishes into dishwater, I wash and then hand rinsed dish to the other to put into the rack). I am starting to see more of a helpful attitude in Rachel since we have started this.
And they both are learning to make their bed (with Mommy's help of course.)

Joshua is learning to read. Yes. I can hardly believe it. I'm not pushing him, but I want him to be challenged as he continues learning his letters and their sounds.
Rachel is also learning her letters. We have been using an online phonics program (it's free!) called Starfall. Wow, it's so great. I started it with Joshua and he loved it. Of course Rachel wanted to participate. I didn't have any real expectations for her, but she just loved it and can now recognize several letters. So we do this together for about 20 minutes/day and I see dramatic improvement in the both of them.

Madelynn is changing. Yes I'm sure you know that. But let me be more specific. Not only is she getting cuter, her hair getting longer- but she is no longer "so easy". With her high pitched squealing and her intense desire to stand and jump it can be quite difficult to get much done. She has her second tooth now (bottom), and still loves to smile and laugh and yes, be held. That's my fault though. I held her quite a bit for the first six months, so now she is trained. Trained to be held, lots.
Since her second tooth popped through, she has been sleeping through the night. Another Hallelujah!




Joel continues to work 40 or so hours/wk. And we are grateful.

Renee continues on with her two Bible Studies (The Faces of Grief and Living Beyond Yourself) along with going to the Truth Project. (This has been so so great. If you have the opportunity to participate in one near you, go for it.) She also finds a few moment here and there to keep up with the blog and crochet.
I am also trying very very hard to keep from thinking about Spring. But so far so good. It is only February and in 2009 we didn't have summer until September. That is a long ways away. So I am taking one day at a time and enjoying each day as it comes, whether it's windy or sunny or snowing.

Our housing situation is still the same. Our lease is up May 1st. Meaning, we should be out by April 30th. We are still seeking God as to where to go, and if we should rent or buy.

So that is what is mostly going on in our house. Thanks for reading this far! God bless you!

Of Stables, Doc Visits, Christmas Trees, oh what else?

I think these are the best kind of blog posts: a little bit of everything. In my opinion they are more interesting, something for everyone. So here we go, but be prepared, some of it might be random...

So what shall I start with first?
How about some Christmas tree shopping?

Our family likes to cut our own tree down. It's cheaper and, (I think) way more fun.

Yes, that is Madelynn in the car seat on the sled. No, she didn't tip over, Joshua did a great job of holding onto her. :)


The Perfect Tree


Since our house is pretty small, we put our tree on the piano.

Since we are talking about Christmas I will go onto the next item of business:
In a previous post I mentioned making a nativity scene. It is coming along and I am enjoying it immensely. Here is the Stable:

And the first king:


Of course once Joshua and Rachel saw this, they wanted to play with it. So I made them a little "doll" for each of them. Joshua got to choose what colors he wanted, hence the blue hair and black arms:


Of Doctor Visits:

Today Madelynn had a doctor's visit. So for Grandparents' sake I thought I would mention everyone's height and weight:

Joshua: 35.2 pounds and 41 inches tall
Rachel: 29 pounds and 36.5 inches tall
Madelynn: 13.4 pounds and 24.5 inches long (tall?)

I want everyone to notice Rachel's weight. Now compare it to one year ago before her Celiac Disease diagnosis: 22 pounds. Yes. Rachel gained SEVEN pounds this past year. Amazing. I don't remember how tall she was last year, but she is now in the 38% instead of in the 10% on the growth charts. Hallelujah!

Madelynn is not gaining weight as much as she should but she did grow a whole inch over two months. She is not rolling but she is sitting with support. We shall see what the Lord has in store for our dear Madelynn...


Of Vicks and Feet

Joshua has had a cough lately. I think every parent knows about 2 am coughs and trying to be patient for that cough syrup or honey to kick in. Well, how about this?:

A friend from long ago emailed us a forward explaining this great benefit of Vicks. (You know, the petroleum jelly/vaseline with menthol and other essential oils?) Apparently if you rub a generous amount of Vicks on the bottom of your child's feet and place socks on, it will stop a cough in a matter of moments and will also prevent the child from coughing for hours and hours. I have to admit I was very skeptical. But Joel wanted to try it, so...

And you know what? It worked. Joshua did not cough at all the whole night. He did start coughing at the breakfast table, but Hey! 12 hours? no coughing? wow. So we tried it the next night on both Joshua and Rachel (Rachel had a stuffed up nose and was starting to come down with a cough also). Same thing, no coughing, and they slept great.

So pay attention Parents! Write that one down. Try it. And get some sleep!


Of Children Books


This book, The Little Blue Truck, has been a favorite ever since a friend gave it to the kids. The book has a fun rhyming rhythm and is about friendship. I highly recommend it.






So I believe that is all. I look forward to sharing with you more of the Nativity as it comes into being and our daily adventures here at home.

givingThanks

The last few posts have been updates on our four children. This time the update is about Joel and Renee. For some reason, it is more difficult to give updates on myself and my best friend. But for the sake of friendship with you and "keeping in touch", I will do my best.

If you haven't heard yet, God provided a deer for us the Saturday before last. Joel was in the stand for about two minutes and this small doe walks up and was looking in his general direction. He shot her straight in the heart (another blessing- minimal suffering and doesn't damage the meat). So now this deer is in our freezer, meat for the winter. But we were both kind of sad - having killed this animal, this mother deer. It seems that the circle of life is more like a circle of death. Someone or something has to die to keep someone else alive. "All creation groans..." (Romans ch. 8)
Even Jesus had to die, so that we could live eternally.

The November here has brought a longer Autumn, for which I am So thankful for. After a cold winter, a looong spring, and three days of summer, I was just about ready to pack things up and pray for God to move us to British Columbia. But it's been great, we've gone on a few walks (It's harder to get three kids AND myself out the door in time before someone has to eat or go potty or..). Just seeing the sun shining through my living room window is enough to brighten my mood.

Joel won a turkey yesterday. Yes, he did. A dead one, thankfully. Several places in town have a turkey drawing and Joel's name popped up in one of them. So now we have a turkey certificate and are automatically entered into another contest for all the fixings.

Joel continues to go to work each morning. Hallelujah! (pardon me, but sometimes I just have to belt something out) They are getting seamless rain gutter jobs all over town, and also have a few big projects for the winter. They are not overly busy- it's still a struggle to get at least 40 hours a week, but it's still full time and we are still able to pay the bills. So again we are thankful.

Renee continues to grow as a mother, to express her creativity through this blog, and to maintain her friendships.
I am involved in two different Bible Studies at the moment which I will share with you:

The first is a Beth Moore study entitled, Living Beyond Yourself. It is a study on the Fruits of the Spirit. It's actually my first Beth Moore study and I am finding it pretty good. Mrs. Moore takes you through different scripture as a foundation on Who the Spirit is and what His role is. Then at about week three she settles into Galatians 6 (where it talks about living by the Holy Spirit), and spends a whole chapter on the first fruit: Love. That's where I am right now.

The second Bible Study I am doing is a study on Grief. This specific study is for women and I haven't even finished the first chapter. But so far it's been really, really good. I've really connected with it. How can I tell? Well, I actually fill in all the blanks, look up all the scripture references, write notes in the side margins and complete the chaos with little pictures that help me remember my thoughts.

One of the evenings this week I started looking through my crochet books and pulled out a Christmas stocking pattern. A few days before, I was telling Joel about Madelynn needing a stocking, seeing as this will be her first Christmas. So this was another thing to be thankful for! I could make Madelynn a stocking in time for Christmas! I have really enjoyed sitting down and crocheting again. I think the last time I crocheted something was at least two years ago, just before the diagnoses of Emily's heart.

So all in all, Jesus is our All. He is our Provider through family, friends, strangers, acquaintances, His Spirit, and even our children. We are so thankful.

I know some who read this have already celebrated Thanksgiving (hello Canada!) we can all still be grateful together as we observe a day of gratefulness. God Bless you as you go about today, this day God has made.

The Prodigal God

Joel has read The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller, and is reading it again with a group of other guys. I have just finished the third chapter.

Here's a short review:

"Keller uncovers the essential message of Jesus, locked inside his most familiar parable. Within that parable Jesus reveals God's prodigal grace toward both the irreligious and the moralistic. This book will challenge both the devout and skeptics to see Christianity in a whole new way."

It is very good and I recommend reading it. It's easy to read, but full of depth and conviction.

The Five S's

The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp, M.D. (given to me by my friend Jaeme) has a few good tips in it on how to calm a fussy baby. I really don't agree with his theories but he does have a few good ideas on how to calm your baby down.

My favorite is called the Five S's. They really work, and I really don't know what I would've done sometimes without them. Here they are in the recommended order of action:

1. Swaddling: It helps your baby feel secure and like he's back in the womb again. Some babies resist swaddling, but that doesn't mean they don't want to be swaddled. (Babies cannot control their flailing arms)

2. Side/Stomach: This will eliminate that feeling of falling which causes panic in a baby.

3. Shhhing: The soothing sound. A loud, harsh shushing sound will recreate the sound of the blood rushing through the mother's veins and will be familiar to the baby. The louder the baby is crying the louder the shush needs to be, as the baby quiets, so the shushing should be quieter. This has worked miracles with our babies.

4. Swinging: Rythmic, monotonous, jiggly, swinging movements are what the baby is used to, having just come from the womb.

5. Sucking: After you have done the above four steps, the final step is to use something, like a pacifier or a finger, to encourage sucking. This creates relaxation within the baby's nervous system.

More reflections...

The following are excerpts taken from the book: 'From Grief to Glory' by James W. Bruce III. (A book written for grieving parents who have lost a little one.)


He was the music of our home,
A day that knew no night.
The fragrance of our garden bower,
A thing all smiles and light.

Above the couch we bent and prayed
In the half-lighted room,
As the bright hues of infant life
Sank slowly into gloom.

The form remained; but there was now
No soul our love to share;
Farewell, with weeping hearts, we said,
Child of our love and care.

But years are moving quickly past,
And time will soon be o'er;
Death shall be swallowed up in life
On the immortal shore.

Then shall we clasp that hand once more,
And smooth that golden hair;
Then shall we kiss those lips again,
When we shall meet him there.

-Horatius Bonar (A nineteenth-century Scottish minister and hymn writer, He and his wife lost five children in successive bereavements.)



This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. (Psalm 119:50)



Wherefore should I make my moan,
Now the darling child is dead?
He to early rest is gone,
He to paradise is fled.
I shall go to him, but he
Never shall return to me.

God forbids his longer stay,
God recalls the precious loan,
God hath taken him away,
From my bosom to his own.
Surely what he wills is best!
Happy in his will, I rest.

Faith cries out, it is the Lord!
Let him do as seems him good.
Be thy holy name adored,
Take the gift awhile bestowed;
Take the child no longer mine,
Thine he is, forever thine.

-Charles Wesley (lost five of his eight children)



I am happy in spirit, but the flesh is sorrowful and will not be content; the parting grieves me beyond measure. -Martin Luther



Ah! when the mighty wings of the angel of death nestle over your heart's treasures, and his black shadow broods over your home, it shakes the heart with a shuddering terror and a horror of great darkness....As I stand by the little grave, and think of the poor ruined clay within, that was a few days ago so beautiful, my heart bleeds. But as I ask, 'Where is the soul whose beams gave that clay all its beauty and preciousness?' I triumph.

-Robert L. Dabney (lost three sons to diphtheria, two of those sons died within two weeks of each other)



What'er my God ordains is right;
here shall my stand be taken;
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken.
My Father's care is round me there;
He holds me that I shall not fall;
And so to Him I leave it all.

-Samuel Rodigast



"Real grief is not easily comforted. It comes like ocean waves...some are small...others are stronger...and cause you to stagger. Then there are the overwhelming waves with an undertow that can turn your world upside down and drag you out into deep waters. In times such as those, the mourner desperately needs an anchor. And, indeed, God has promised his people a blessing if they patiently endure. He has guaranteed the promise so that we might lay hold of the hope set before us. This hope is the anchor of the soul, and it is sure and steadfast (Heb. 6:19)" (p. 70-71)



No doubt affliction now seems to you a far more intense and real thing than it ever did before; the griefs of human life are far more awful and terrific to you now than they ever before seemed. But the power of grace is the master of them...

-Letter from a friend to Dr. Robert Dabney



Safe in the arms of Jesus,
safe on his gentle breast,
There by his love o'er shaded,
sweetly my soul shall rest.
Hark! 'tis the voice of angels,
borne in a song to me
Over fields of glory, over the jasper sea.
Safe in the arms of Jesus,
safe on his gentle breast,
There by his love o'er shaded,
sweetly my soul shall rest.

-Fanny Crosby (She wrote over 9,000 hymns, was blind and lost her only child. She was known to give everything she had and to think nothing of herself.)

Reflections

Below are words of encouragement taken from the book 'From Grief to Glory'. I will start with the longest one which is of great encouragement to me as a mother still grieving over her daughter. Following are other excerpts that have been a comfort. I hope you enjoy them.

To a Christian Gentlewoman [23 April 1628]:

My love in Christ remembered to you. I was indeed sorrowful when I left you, especially since you were in such heaviness after your daughter's death; yet I am sure you know that the weightiest end of the cross of Christ that is laid upon you, lies on your strong Saviour. For Isaiah said that in all your afflictions He is afflicted (Is. 63:9). O blessed Saviour, who suffers with you! Your soul may be glad, even to walk in the fiery furnace, with the Son of Man, who is also the Son of God. Take courage. When you tire, he will bear both you and your burden (Ps. 55:22). In a little while you shall see the salvation of God.
Your lease on your daughter has run out; and you can no more quarrel against your great Superior for taking what He owns, than a poor tenant can complain when the landowner takes back his own land when the lease is expired. Do you think she is lost, when she is only sleeping in the bosom of the Almighty? If she were with a dear friend, your concern for her would be small, even though you would never see her again. Oh now, is she not with a dear friend, and gone higher, upon a certain hope that you shall see her again in the resurrection? Your daughter was a part of yourself; and, therefore, being as it were cut in half, you will be grieved. But you have to rejoice; though a part of you is on earth, a great part of you is glorified in heaven.
Follow her, but do not envy her; for indeed it is self-love that makes us mourn for them that die in the Lord. Why? Because we cannot mourn for them since they are happy; therefore, we mourn on our own private account. Be careful then, that in showing your affection in mourning for your daughter that you are not, out of self-affection, mourning for yourself.
Consider what the Lord is doing. Your daughter has been plucked out of the fire, and she rests from her labours. Your Lord is testing you by casting you in the fire. Go through all fires to your rest. And now remember, that the eye of God is upon the burning bush, and it is not consumed; and He is gladly content that such a weak woman as you should send Satan away frustrated. Honour God now, and shame the strong roaring lion, when you seem the weakest.
Should you faint in the day of adversity? Recall the days of old! The Lord still lives; trust in Him. Faith is exceedingly charitable and believes no evil of God. The Lord has placed in the balance your submission to His will and your affection for your daughter. Which of the two will you choose? Be wise; and as I trust you love Christ better, pass by your daughter, and kiss the Son. Men lop the branches off their trees so they may grow up high and tall. The Lord has lopped your branch off by taking from you many children, so that you would grow upwards, setting your heart above, where Christ is at the right hand of the Father.
Prepare yourself; you are nearer your daughter this day than you were yesterday. Run your race with patience; let God have what belongs to Him. Do not ask Him for the daughter who has been taken from you, the daughter of faith; but ask Him for patience; and in patience possess your soul. Lift up your head; your redemption draws near.

Your affectionate and loving
friend in the Lord Jesus,
Samuel Rutherford

('From Grief to Glory' by James W. Bruce III p. 147)


Psalm 107 "Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in affliction and in irons.... Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love..."


"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." Psalm 116:15


Clearly, accomplishment in life cannot be measured in terms of years alone. It often happens that those that die young have accomplished more than others who live to old age. Even infants, who sometimes have been with the parents only a few days, or even hours, may leave profound influences that change the entire course of the life of the family. And undoubtedly, from the Divine viewpoint, the specific purpose for which they were sent into the world was accomplished. It is our right neither to take life prematurely, nor to insist on its extension beyond the mark that God has set for it. -Loraine Boettner


God consoles His suffering people, and His consolations, which are proportioned to the nature and degree of their suffering, shall surely appear to all who stick to His truth and trust Him with their souls. It is a demonstration of the faithfulness of God to those that, suffering according to His will, do commit the keeping of their souls toHim in well-being, as unto a faithful Creator. (1 Peter 4:19)
-John Bunyan