.a tough decision made.

Joel and I have decided to begin the weekly monitoring process of June Bug starting this Tuesday (March 4th). What does this mean? It means that we travel to St. Mary's (a two hour drive) once a week to receive an ultrasound. The reason? June Bug is at risk of heart failure at anytime and there is a chance of survival if they catch it. What happens if they detect heart failure? They ship us off to Minneapolis, where we deliver June Bug and the surgeons do their operation(s) upon June Bug's heart. We could be there for a month or more depending on how June Bug does. What are the chances of June Bug surviving all of this? Right now I am 25 weeks along (out of 40). If they detect heart failure between weeks 25-29 there is a 1% chance of surviving the heart failure, the delivery, the surgery, and the NICU. Once we reach 30 weeks the chances jump to 30% and increase every week thereafter. (Now, this is what the doctors say, they do not measure miracles into these statistics.)
Joel and I want to give June Bug every chance she has, even if it's a 1% chance. We are still praying for healing, but know that, ultimately, God's ways are higher than our ways.

back from Duluth

This is Joel, trying his hand at this.
We've come away from this visit with the cardiologist feeling like we need to be a lot more cautious about discerning God's will for us. His ways are so far beyond ours. But I do trust completely that He will glorify Himself through all of this, that He is our resource for every possible outcome, and that in continuing to trust in Him we will find the greatest joy.
Junebug has been diagnosed with Ebstein's Anomaly. The tricuspid valve through which blood flows from the right atrium to the right ventricle is displaced, lower than it should be. Thus the valve is not functioning as it should, and is allowing blood to flow back into the right atrium. The stress on the heart could quite likely cause failure, even in utuero. But this hasn't happened yet. We hope to get from 24 weeks where we are now to 30 weeks when the chances of survival go from 1 percent to maybe 30 percent. We have to decide this week whether we will go to Duluth to check on Junebug once a week, or whether we will wait six weeks to start that. If at any point the heart looks like it is failing we would go directly to Minneapolis to deliver where the surgeons would be close by. Or we are induced at 38 weeks in Minneapolis, if all goes well. And the Author of life will still have His say on the outcome. Peace, Joel.
Check out www.mayoclinic.com/health/ebsteins-anomaly/DS00805 for a thorough explanation.

.please pray.

Tuesday, the 26th of Feb, we go to the hospital to recieve another ultrasound and look at June Bug's heart. Also scheduled is a consultation with the Pediatric Cardiologist. Please pray for complete healing. To see more details as to what is going on, please read blog post 'through it all'.

.Spring bliss.

After a scare with Rachel possibly being deaf (she's not), the situation with June Bug (which isn't over), our landlord moving to St. Paul and putting our place up for sale, my husband in a snow cave (quinzy, sp?) during an Arctic front overnight (-30F; 0 degrees F inside the quinzy), and the normal hyperactivity of a three year old boy, I am quite ready for spring. So when I received a seed catalog in the mail, I sat right down with paper and pen, and planned out my garden. It's only the middle of February and my dreams are filled with flowers, warm air and walks with my children. It'll be bliss, right? No more jackets, no more cold fingers, no more humidifiers. We can sit all morning in the yard watching the butterflies and the white puffy clouds. And in the afternoon, we can go to the park. Never mind the bugs, the 'possible chance of rain', the mud, the blistering heat of summer and sunburn, the humidity, the dogs that bark at night and naptime, the ravens, oh yeah, the ravens. The ugly black birds that are dirty and LOUD. Hmmm. Maybe I can wait a few more weeks. But just a few more weeks.

.boy or girl?

So I thought I would share something a bit more lighthearted:
When we were in Duluth seeing the doctor concerning June Bug, she slipped up and said, "So, he..oops, I mean, Well, I always say 'he'! That's my default." This doctor knew we wanted to be surprised at the sex of the baby, Joel and I just looked at each other and smiled. We were going to have a boy!
Four days later, the Genetic Counselor called to say there was nothing wrong genetically with the baby. Then she asked if we would like to know the sex of the baby. I said sure, since we already knew.

Her words: "It's a girl!"

That news took me a full 24 hours to process!