Enduring Emily

(If you know the words already and would rather see the music video go here.)


So it's been 1 year, 5 months and 18 days since Emily Grace was born.
It's been 1 year, 5 months and 9 days since Emily Grace passed away.

But she endures on.

When I walk down the street with my three kiddos and hear the endless comments on how I have my hands full, I want to shout. And then I don't because they don't know that I have four, not three. I walk on, ignoring my torn heart.

When I receive a letter in the mail from Children's Hospital Grief and Loss Center I struggle to suppress the memories of a sterile hospital with all it's beeps and strange faces.

When I see her picture in our living room, I remember how beautiful she was, so peaceful, so serene. And I am reminded that she is, right now, full of peace.

There are many stages of grief. Depression being one of them. I believe I am past that stage. Though I have moments of it, I do not experience depression as a way of life - anymore.

Now we are figuring out how Emily fits into our lives. Figuring out how to talk about her, when to talk about her, where to talk about her. Even how to think of her, how to remember her.

And so the path continues. This path God has led us down. But I look back often. And in doing so I am encouraged to continue on.

Emily Grace is our daughter. And we will see her soon.