Happy Mommy's Day!

I don't know why I enjoy Mother's Day so much. Perhaps it's the pretty carnation I receive at church. Or maybe it's because the sun is usually shining and Spring is finally here. This year was slightly different, as some of you may guess.

For the last 3-4 years Joel has taken me (and the kids) to a local greenhouse and let me pick out some flowers for my garden and hanging basket. I love flowers, especially ones in greenhouses. The humidity, the smell, the vast array of colors including GREEN, and then the challenge:

I have a budget, and I need to stick to it.

Pansies are always a must (right, Maria?), then violets are a favorite, so those must go in my box, too. Daisies I'm a sucker for, and lately, Callie cream. They are a smaller version of petunias, more delicate. I usually get tomatoes because of the short growing season here, but this year, to save money of course, we started them from seed indoors.

After the successful adventure in the greenhouse, we usually just head home on Mother's Day. But this year, at my request, we took a detour.

There was so much snow at Maple Hill Cemetery a month ago I didn't think we could make it in, let alone visit Emily's grave. As we got closer, there was only grass (well, brownish-green grass), no snow. As we parked and unloaded rakes, it felt a little different being there. There was a sense of familiarity, a sense of sorrow (but not as striking), and a sense of peace. But there was another feeling that I couldn't put my finger on. Later, Joel put it into words: "it feels less like Emily is here [in the grave] and more like she's in heaven."

We cleaned up the grave site, the kids put their "pretty" rocks near the headstone, and I made plans for where to put flowers and to replace the pinwheel that had broken during the winter.

It was a beautiful Mother's Day, as it usually is. I remind myself that I am a mother only because of these children that God has given me. Without them, my kids, Mother's Day would be just another holiday that I have a hard time relating to. So as they and Joel are thankful for me, I in turn am thankful for my kids. No one can replace them or take them away. I will always be their mother. Just as Emily Grace will always be my daughter.