Pressed but not Crushed

(Italics taken from a devotional entitled "Streams in the Desert" p. 391-393. This particular article resonated with me (Renée) and in this post alternates with my own thoughts).

"They were a people who were living to themselves. Their hopes, promises, and dreams still controlled them, but the Lord began to fulfill their prayers. They had asked for a repentant heart and had surrendered themselves with a willingness to pay any price for it, and He sent them sorrow. They had asked for purity, and He sent them sudden anguish. They had asked for meekness, and He had broken their hearts. They had asked to be dead to the world, and He killed all their living hopes. They had asked to be made like Him, so He placed them in the fire "as a refiner and purifier of silver" (Mal. 3:3), until they could reflect His image. They had asked to help carry His cross, yet when He held it out to them, it cut and tore their hands."

I (Renée) remember asking God for humility. I remember asking God to challenge my faith, to grow me, to not make my life so comfortable. Little did I know how much God was going to take me seriously in all these prayers over the last 10 years...

Our most recent challenge has been a cluster of smaller, related challenges. Each a little similar, each one health related: Joel's back is a constant heartache for me. Nerve pain down his leg and into toes, tight muscles along his spine like steel cords. And yet he copes well, smiling at me throughout the day and being the Daddy his children need. But there are days that are hard. Painfully hard. And he's only 35.

A certain chiropractor was recommended to us by a friend. I had noticed the results in this certain friend who went there and so we decided to try it. This chiropractor has a strong faith in Jesus, runs his business with Christian music blaring, and treats the problem not the symptoms. There is something else that's different with this doctor than other chiropractors. His practice is based on a neurological philosophy. The spinal cord sends messages throughout the body and to all the organs and is vital to the survival and health of the body. His technique then, is to "reset" the signals from the brain to the organs by simple techniques which I do not have time to explain here.

The chiropractor evaluated Joel and to make a long story short: six years ago Joel was diagnosed with a short leg resulting with a 1.5 cm lift on his left shoe. Well, it turns out his other leg is shorter- and not by that much. So because of this misdiagnosis, Joel is now experiencing degeneration in his left hip, his scoliosis is worse and his herniated disc is not healing.

Forgiveness for the doctor who misdiagnosed him...

The chiropractor recommended the whole family get checked out since scoliosis and other such problems can be passed down to the next generation. So we decided Joshua should go in since he has the most health problems at the moment.

Joshua's evaluation: He has an extra disc in his lumbar. He also has a six degree twist to his spine - the start of scoliosis. And because of this skeletal problem it is pinching a nerve in his spinal cord that is directly in tune with his respiratory system, possibly causing his asthma difficulties.

"They had not fully understood what they asked, but He had taken them at their word and granted them all their requests. They had been unsure whether to follow Him such a long distance or whether to come so close to Him. They found it easier to obey than to suffer, to work than to give up, and to carry the cross than to hang upon it. But now they could not turn back, for they had come too close to the unseen cross of the spiritual life, and its virtues had pierced them too deeply."

So what more can God inflict upon our nine year old son? Not only does he have asthma, super sensitive skin that breaks out in hives when a band aid touches it, had ITP (a blood (un)clotting autoimmune disease), has Type 1 Diabetes but now he has an extra vertebrae and possible scoliosis. He's NINE. There is no diet remedy for scoliosis. No herbal concoction can take care of this. This is skeletal.

The neurological chiropractor says he can treat Joshua. Correct the scoliosis and more than likely, eliminate the asthma.

Of course I have my doubts. I've heard all this "treatment" and doc's "plans" and read the books telling me about "cures". The only cure I've been able to find is the cure for Celiac Disease. Praise God for that.

This chiropractor seems our only hope. His philosophies on medicine line up with mine. His diet choices are whole grain, whole foods - pretty healthy. His methods really seem to work.

But it's an hour drive away. In good traffic.
It's also out-of-pocket.

Three days a week for the first four months of treatment. For both Joel and Joshua. That's at least six hours of driving a week.

So we keep giving it to God. Surrendering these earthly tents to Him.

"Now at last their opportunity had come. Earlier they had only heard of the mystery, but now they felt it. He had fastened His eyes of love on them, as He had on Mary and Peter, so they could only choose to follow Him. And little by little, from time to time, with quick glimmers of light, the mystery of His cross shone upon them. They saw Him "lifted up from the earth", and gazed on the glory that radiated from the wounds of His holy suffering."

Our son, Joshua, is a brave boy. He has looked at chronic disease in the face and shook it's hand. He has warmed nurses' hearts and made them smile. He has looked so sweetly at me countless times while I watched helplessly as tubes, needles and white sheets dominated his life. He has matured so much over the years as hives, asthma, and blood are just a part of our day.

Why him? Why does his body have to be wracked with shots, immune system problems, disease and now scoliosis?

"As they looked upon Him, they approached Him and were changed into His likeness. His name then shone out through them, for He lived within them. Their life from that moment on was one of inexpressible fellowship with Him above."

O Satan, beware of my son. Though you try to kill him with disease and fill his life with pain, it is through this pain he is being made new, he is being made like his Savior Jesus Christ. A suffering servant. "Jehovah saves" my son and his life will not be in vain.

"Yet God strengthened them and protected them, even from themselves. They knew it was good to suffer in this life so they would reign in the one to come; to bear the cross below, to wear a crown above; and to know that not their will but His was done in them and through them." ("Streams in the Desert" Devotional pgs. 391-393)