Rambles

Hi I just thought I'd type and see what happens.

To start off I'll begin by saying Hudson has five teeth now. Two bottom and three top. He's crawling too. Yes, I forgot to tell you. He crawls kinda funny though. How do I explain it? He crawls like, well, like a girl. You know, girls who crawl and wear dresses? Well, he crawls like he's wearing a dress, sticking one leg out and folding the other in. Maybe I should just take a picture sometime. It really is quite entertaining.

He claps. He babbles. He's cute. He eats pizza.

let's see, onto Rachel. Rachel is five, I think you know that already. She is a great big sister. Great as in wonderful. Just tonight, she was teaching Madelynn some simple arithmetic lessons, on the chalkboard of course. 1 plus 1 is 2, 2 plus 2 is four, 3 plus 3 is six. The funny thing about it though, was that Madelynn was actually getting it. Maybe I'll just have Rachel teach Preschool and I'll teach the First Grade.

Recently I found a whole grain gluten free flour mix recipe. Why is this so great? Gluten free flour is usually made up of starches and calorie rich, low vitamin flours. In other words, not so healthy. There are lots of different grains out there that are naturally gluten free, are processed gluten free (see Bobs Red Mill), and are very nutritious. So if you are interested in what I found click here.

Did you know that chlorine is a gas? You probably do; I did not. And did you know that the chlorine in water will evaporate out in about 30 minutes? You probably do; I didn't. I thought about this gold nugget of information. I thought about why we bought Brita filters for our fridge water pitcher. I thought about how expensive these filters are. I thought about how clean our water already is without the Brita filters. I thought about how wasteful it is to throw those filters out every 1-2 months.  I decided to test my theory. I filled up a jug of city tap water and set it on the table. I came back about 45 minutes later. I poured myself a glass. I tasted it. I tasted..water. No chlorine taste. None. Now, we have no Brita filters in our fridge water pitcher.

Joshua's doing well. He's accepted the fact that he has Diabetes. Madelynn said one day, very seriously: "when I have Diabetes, I will become a boy."  His blood sugar levels have been steady, for which we are grateful- we've been told this phase won't last.  Joshua loves music and dancing. He also likes racing; racing his sisters in various things (like getting dressed); racing his toy cars; racing invisible "enemies". He pretends he is fast: he is Lightning McJoshua!

Purple Shooting Star, er, I mean, Madelynn is our other serious, tell-it-like-it-is child. Though goofiness is her other side. She hardly ever sits still (she's getting better...). Earth's gravitational pull seems to be slightly stronger where Madelynn is. Perhaps it is due to the fact that in order to keep up with Lightning McJosh and Pink Shooting Star, she must go so much faster than her little legs can handle. Perhaps one day she will become that purple shooting star and not need legs anymore. But in the meantime we have many kisses and tears, bruises and thumps. At least she's cute.

Joel and I are doing great. Recently we went to a marriage retreat about 20 minutes from home and had a blast together and with the many friends who also attended. My parents were visiting and did a wonderful job watching the kids. I am so grateful that we were able to get away for a few days yet still be close to home. I wasn't sure how it was going to go with Joshua's Diabetes. God gave us all a great peace and I didn't worry, but it was still good to be close.

How am I doing? Each day is different. Some days are hard, some days are a little easier. Some days I am overwhelmed by everything. Some days I feel like I can conquer anything.  Everyday I think of Emily..And wonder what she is doing, how she is doing, how old she is now, what she looks like.

One of the hardest things in meeting new people is one of the first questions that arise: "how many kids do you have?" I would always hesitate before answering. Sometimes I would say five, sometimes I would say four. Then, Joel and I decided we'd just say 'five kids' right away. No hesitation. Well, today I met someone new, and I told her I had four kids. I guess it's harder than I thought. I'm not condemning myself, I'm realizing how much I need Jesus to speak through me and not be afraid of the outcome.

This is a hyacinth bulb in a jar of water. Can you see the white roots coming down from the bulb? I have it sitting in a kitchen window by the sink. It's been exciting the last week or so watching the purple bloom coming up out of the green. And before that seeing the green point come up out of the dry looking bulb. What a beautiful science experiment for winter!

This is also a hope picture. After Emily died, it was extremely hard to picture us having children again. I wasn't sure what to expect or hope for after she died. I look at this picture to remind myself that there is always hope. Even when the future is uncertain, even if the bulb looks dry and dead, even if Hudson is out of focus, there is hope.

And hope is beautiful.