Eucharisteo

I (Renee) remember a day this past summer where the kids and I were sitting at the beach, throwing rocks in the water. We happened to be sitting next to a mother and her preschool daughter. This little girl was eating some pretzels and decided to share them with her new friends. As she offered them to Rachel, my heart sank. Rachel shook her head and said bluntly, "I can't have gluten," and sat down facing me and started building something with the rocks. The little friend then offered them to Josh and Madelynn who accepted the pretzels. I had nothing with me to give to Rachel and, as I watched her, I felt helpless. J, M, and Little Friend proceeded to play and as they did, Rachel looks up at me suddenly. I'll never forget what she said to me- "Why did Jesus make me not to have gluten?" I swallowed hard and whispered "I don't know, Rachel." She looked down and kept playing. But I knew that her heart hurt just like mine.

This day, this moment of remembrance was brought to me because recently a similar moment happened with Joshua just a few days ago. We were home from the hospital and I was sitting in the living room. I don't remember where the other three kids were but I remember the living room being quiet. Joshua walks by and stops. I look up and he's looking at me. My heart hurts as I see him standing there, so small, so skinny from having lost weight, so helpless. He asks me a question- "Mommy, why did God give me diabetes?" There's pain in his voice and in his face. So much pain that I look away and shake my head. "I don't know Josh," is all I can whisper. He walks away and my heart cries out to God.

I don't know the answer to the question 'why', or even 'how'. But when my heart turns to God I find peace. He comforts me, and He tells me to thank Him. Thank Him in everything. So that is what I am doing. And that is what I can tell Rachel and Joshua. I may not know the answers but I know what we can do.

Happy Thanksgiving to you dear reader.