I am so Happy you Exist.

Today you were born.

Four years ago.

You cried and we were surprised.

They took you away after a quick kiss from me.

They wheeled me back to my room. 

I knew where they took you. 

They were trying to help you breathe.

I knew I'd see you soon.

You were a few hours old my sweetheart,

I finally saw you 

detailed and close,

nurses hovering,

lights, tubes, beeps

seemingly endless.

You shouldn't have to be here.

"Let's go home, my dear," I whisper 

in your sweet ear.

"Get well, I know you will, then we can go home.

Home."

You looked so strange. 

So sick.

You needed love and warmth

and milk.

I touched your soft head

and wished 

so many things.

Things so unattainable.

And yet I tried to be grateful,

to our God,

our God of mercy and love.

The God who holds you now. 

Happy Birth Day my sweet sweet Emily.

Happy Existance day, I'm so glad you were born,

I'm so glad I got to see your face,

I'm so glad I got to hold you, twice, and feel your warmth.

I'm so glad I got to kiss you,

touch you,

and smell you.

You are in the best place a parent could ever desire,

and I love you.

Reminisce

I (Renee) would like to remind you of Emily's birthday coming up. This date and the days around this day, are hard, good, healing, and emotional for us. Please be gracious with us as we continue to process our grief, to allow Jesus to heal us, and to share our daughter with you. We invite you to join in celebrating Emily, remembering her life, and giving thanks to our God that Emily is in the best place anyone could ever desire.


Starting on her birthday, June 2, I will be posting everyday for nine days in honor of Emily's life on earth. I will include pictures, some memories, perhaps a poem. 


You are welcome to join in with us during this time by lighting a candle, reading this blog, praying for us, and/or visiting her grave site. If you need directions to the exact location please leave a comment or email us.

When you remember with us, you bless our hearts more richly than you know. 

Thank you.

enduring

Eight years. Today.

and he still loves me...

And oh how I love him...

Mommy Day

I sure do love my kids. :)

All five of them.

A Disclaimer

People tell me (Renee) that I am strong. 

That my faith in God is strong. 

Please

don't think that I am strong. 

I am not strong. 

I am weak.

I yell at my kids.

I screw up.

I cry.

I'm still grieving and missing Emily. 

If you see strength inside me

 then please know this:

It is God who is strong.

And He lives inside of me.